Epic Poop. Everywhere.

It only too a few ruined onesies, blankets and a whole lot of poop on me and the baby to really master the poonami. 

Yes, the poonami. When the adorable grunts and squeaks are actually code for ‘there is poop in places there shouldn’t be and guess what, mom, you have to clean it!’
The belly button. The belly crease. Smeared up the back. On the baby boobies. Yup, so not pretty. And when you are holding on to your lunch because the smell is so rancid it’s nice to know that you have everything you need right at your fingertips to deal with the situation.

Surviving the Poonami with the 3 Ps: Preparation, Patience and Proactivity
P1) Preparation
My home base is the living room and as 99.8% of my baby’s poo occurs during the daytime (thankfully!) it made sense to set up my poonami station here. 

Needed materials: diapers, wipes, head-to-toe wipes, blanket, extra clothes and dog pee pads,
I use a pack n play (Baby Trend Nursery Center) with attached changing table to change the baby’s diaper. All the pouches and nooks and crannies allow me to store everything I need without making that corner of the living rom an eyesore.  

Why head-to-toe wipes: Yes, onesies are built to be pulled off from the bottom instead of over the head in case of emergency. That doesn’t mean that it is any easier or any less messy. I keep Johnson’s Head-to-Toe wipes handy in case I need to wipe any poo off of baby’s head or hands. She is at the stage where her hands spend most of the time in her mouth and these wipes seem a safer alternative to regular wipes. Plus, there are great for nose or eye boogers!

Why a blanket: The changing table part of the pack n play is made of some type of plastic or vinyl composite material. It is not comfortable and is chilly when the baby is undressed. Plus, when we have a tinklenami, the blanket soaks up the pee instead of it splashing off the vinyl and into my face. I was gifted plenty of wonderful handmade blankets during pregnancy so the thin muslin and cotton swaddles that I bought I use on the changing table. 

Why extra clothes: Sometimes it’s okay to leave baby naked (except for a diaper, of course). But, as is often the case, poonamis happen at the worst possible moment, like right when you are strapping her into the car seat to head out to an appointment. And it is far easier to reach down the side of the playpen, into the pouch, and pull out a clean onesie than it is to run upstairs to find one. 

Why dog pee pads: When you open the diaper and find that it was not just epic farts, but an actual colon explosion, your main concern is really getting everything cleaned quickly enough so that baby doesn’t stick her feet into the poo and smear it everywhere as she kicks. One day, when I opened the diaper to find an extremely nasty situation, I hurried to grab a pee pad out of the stash I keep for my senior cat (he does not like litter so he gets his own special box with a pee pad in it). I tugged this under baby, on top of the blanket and then unleashed the poonami and cleaned her. The poo leaked all over the pee pad but did not get on the playpen or the blanket which I consider a total win. I tossed the pad out with the diaper for a no fuss no mess cleanup. Since I do not want to continuously waste money, I keep a small stash of pee pads (that I cut in half to get twice the use) in the side of the playpen and only pull these out for dire emergencies. They are great because the wetness will pool underneath instead of just run off the side. I always put the open (or cut) side towards me, up on the raised side so that any leakage will drip down to the secured side. It hasn’t failed me yet!

P2) Patience

The only supply you need for this is nature made. Just imagine that your baby is on his or her first date and the clock is ticking awfully close to curfew time. 

When I hear poo happening, I try and make a mad dash to the changing table in an effort to save the clothes. If a diaper is already wet then runny formula poo has a tendency to quickly leak up the front and the back of the diaper. There is no problem with running as quickly as you can. Get those clothes off pronto. But don’t pull that diaper off just yet! Why not? Because lovely fresh air has a way of tickling baby bums in a way that calls for immediate expelling of any leftover poo. And that is not something you want all over your hands as you start wiping. My advice is to open the diaper, wave it about for a minute or two (without pulling it out from under baby) and then, when the coast is clear and there is no more poo, starting the cleanup.

P3) Proactivity

I admit that as an owner of cats, I will sometimes cross over a pile of vomit a couple times before I actually clean it up. Sometimes the list in the morning is too crazy to focus scrubbing dried cat food chunks from the carpet until baby is all ready and I am dressed. It is very very easy to toss a poo onesie into the laundry basket to deal with it later. It is not easy, however, for dried poo to come out of that onesie when the laundry isn’t washed for another day or two. To be proactive about baby poo stains, have the following items ready:

Supplies needed: Stain remover (within reach of changing table and oxi clean (by the sink). 

I have a two basin sink with one side being much smaller. I use this as my soaking basin. As soon as I pull off stained clothes I grab my Shout spray and soak them. The clothes then sit on top of the laundry basket until the situation is all taken care off. Those couple of minutes are all you need to pretreat. Once baby is happy and playing I fill up my small sink with burning hot water and dissolve a shake of my oxi-clean mason jar into the sink. I toss the pretreated clothes in the sink and swirl them around (usuallu with the bottom of the dish soap so I don’t have to stick my hand in it). By the time the water cools, the stain is gone. I let the clothes air dry a bit and then toss the in the laundry basket. The smell is gone and the stain is gone. Win win!

It took a couple of months but now I consider myself a master of the (at home) poonami! All it took was preparation, patience and proactivity.  And a lot of hand soap. 


2 thoughts on “Epic Poop. Everywhere.

  1. Tegan'sMommy says:

    I love your writing and this is a great article for new moms! As a seasoned mommy of three, I’d like to add that I’ve survived many poonamis, but only one with a side of puknami! This happens when a certain “helpful” big brother with a sensitive stomach tries to assist mommy during the poonami cleanup and can’t handle it! Lol


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