In just a few short days I will be on my way to Disney with my sister for a four-day baby free vacation. This was last years’ Mother’s Day gift from my amazing husband.
I’m going to miss my girls so much!
I miss them when someone else puts them to bed. I miss them when my husband and I snag a few kid-free hours in the middle of the day. Because 95% of the time it is me and them. So going away for four days is sure to be a challenge.
Now don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of times I want to ship my oldest somewhere just to have a little peace. All morning, she is just the most perfect two-year old. When she wake up, her sisters go down for their morning nap. We do puzzles, color or sort. We have breakfast together and then she helps me wash the dishes. And if the weather is good, we spend the next hour outside in the front yard. Today she played with sticks while I replanted some hostas and then we colored with sidewalk chalk.
Where it gets hairy is when the twins are up and I need to get something done – use the bathroom, make a meal, switch the laundry. Sometimes, even when I’m in the room. She needs to have whatever her sisters’ have. And she’s rough. Even when she’s trying to hug one of them, she’s rough. She knocks them to the floor. Pulling a toy out of their hands, she knocks them to floor.
People look at me like I’m crazy when I’m out in public with my girls. I go out almost every day of the week – Target, the museum, the ecotarium, the park. Why? When Evelyn is occupied by outside forces like a new environment, water, other people, she leaves her sisters alone. It’s more relaxing to push three kids through Target and feed them their lunch at the Starbucks cafe than be stuck in my house all day. At least now the gypsy moth caterpillars are starting to disappear which means we will once again be able to spend some decent time in the backyard.
Going away from home and the kids for a few days feels a lot like being a teacher preparing for an extended leave of absence. And the more thought I put into it, the more ridiculous I feel. Because my husband is 100% capable of doing everything that I do. And he’s probably a lot more relaxed than I am because he gets to go to work most days. But I am so used to having my full day planned in my head the day before. I have the meals planned, the excursions planned and even the chores I am going to get done. So my brain keeps telling me that I still need to prepare for those days when I won’t be here – as if my husband needs me to micromanage him.
I’ve done some extra grocery shopping and stocked the house with snacks. I’ve made sure there’s plenty of the staples – yogurt, milk, bread, plenty of the easy meals, like Mac and cheese and chicken nuggets, as well as easy to pack to go foods. I’ve cleaned and reorganized the diaper bag, making sure the sunscreen and the hats are where they are supposed to be. I’ve vacuumed and steam cleaned the house and will make sure the laundry is done the night before I go. I’ve given my husband all my best tips – like if he needs to make a quick trip through a store he can stick both twins in the top seat of a store carriage and throw Evie in the basket. Or to make sure when he packs a lunch he grabs pouches too in case someone tosses their sandwich on the ground. I’ve matched all his shorts with t-shirts in his bureau (he actually likes it when I do this) and have at least 12 matched outfits for the twins and 6 for Evie all ready to go.
I think my OCD brain is having a hard time relinquishing control over the household. It sounds so stupid. Other people have literally offered my husband their help while I am away. As if he can’t be with his own kids for an extended time. As if anyone has ever offered me their help. Ever. And it probably seems like I don’t think he is capable by what I’ve done but I just want to make sure that he is able to make the most of his time. I get to spend every single day with these amazing girls. He only gets a few bedtimes and most weekends to spend with them. If he has to worry about grocery shopping, figuring out what everyone will wear, doing the laundry, or vacuuming, then it’s just more time he doesn’t get to spend playing. I would rather put in this exhausting prep work so that he can have four glorious days playing with the girls and taking them out. Granted I would love it if a batch of laundry got tossed through before I came back, but I won’t expect miracles. As long as I don’t have to clean up any extra mess when I get home at midnight Monday, I’ll be happy.
But man. I’m going to miss my husband and my girls so much.
Here’s to saving enough so that my whole family can go to Disney together the next time.